I am thankfu and things can get better..

I have been venting an awful lot lately. I think I needed to though. I keep things inside to often and let them keep building and building until I explode. I am still struggleing alot with things but I have also realized what I do have. I have a great family for the most part and a really good friends. I really have to thank Kristi in particular. I was hitting another rock bottom and somehow she picked up on it. I honestly didn't tell her. I just that is really cool. I have a hard time crying to people I do but I needed to and she made me and it made me feel so much better. I thought that I was the queen of hiding problems. I would have done the same for her but the fact that she was there honestly means the world to me. I was completely rude to her and she didn't care she showed up at my door step and let herself in. I have had a great amount of emotional issues that honestly haven't told the people closet to me but I finally got to tell someone. Someone that sat and listened and gave it to me straight. There was no sugar coating in what she had to say. I have the best of friends and a great family I just let myself go and didn't care and it meant so much to have someone care for me. I have been rethinking my life latley if you couldn't tell by my last 2 blogs. Just trying to figure out who I am what I want and if I am proud of the girl I am. Its been eye opening. I need to listen to my own favorite qoute life is 90% how you react to it. I have loved that quote for years but have lost touch with living that way. All I am saying is that ya life still sucks right now I am not happy but that doesn't mean it has to be like this forever. Somethings I can never get rid of (Kristi knows how bad this bugs me) but I have decided oh well. Life goes on. Looks are not everything. I do not judge people on the apperance but by there actions so I decided to look at myself in the same way. I decided I can be happy bymyself. I truely believe that there is not someone out there for everyone maybe some people aren't meant for love. I have completely given up on that field. I am 21 and haven't dated anyone in 2yrs. I am thinking maybe I truely am meant to live for others and not myself. I have decided to look at life in a different way. I haven't figured that part out exactly but I hope to soon.